I love how everyone is like “Think before you speak..”

But in reality, if you are sitting there thinking about what you are going to say, people will get annoyed and impatient. 

I hate it when people get irritated with me if I don’t know something or say something the wrong way. Or even when they just look at me like I’m stupid.

Really? I’m sorry I’m not knowledgeable about everything and can’t form my words right with every sentence. 　

• no one: wow i really like you

This is just not my week…plus talking about other stuff.

I’m just been feeling left out all week. I just don’t feel like I really belong anywhere at my school. I mean, there’s people I could hang out with, but I feel like I just intruding and they really don’t want me there. Which is probably true. 

Seriously, like who hangs out in a teacher’s classroom at lunch and watches Minecraft videos. Oh wait. Me.

Even with the people I get along with and talk to and stuff I still feel like an outsider. And the sad thing is that I’m used to it. I don’t think I have had more than 1 or 2 friends that I could really hang out with and be myself with since the 2nd grade. Before then I had a lot of friends, it seemed. But then we grow older and grow apart and some become outsiders. 

I honestly am not myself around most people. I remember saying like 1 year ago that I was a chameleon. Just blending into my environment. I think the only time I’m truly myself is when I’m alone.

Sure, different people get different parts of me, just not the whole thing. 

*sigh* I’m just a little rant-y today I guess. But I have the right to. It’s not fair that I can be around all these people and just holding in my tears because I feel like something is wrong with me and they just try to steer clear. Then I realize that I’m not going to change because it’s who I am and that makes it even worse.

But this summer thing that I’m going to, I’m happy that I could hopefully meet people that is a little more like me. Then I see that it’s only 5 weeks long and then I go back to the place I feel the most lost and that kills me a little.

High School is, by far, not going to be the best time of my life. I won’t be surprised if it’s the worst. I can’t wait until it’s over and I’m free.

The only things that’s keeping me…”stable?” is Doctor Who and everything about this show. My family too, I guess, but even my parents don’t know a few things about me that I’m not willing to tell them yet.

I don’t know. I think I’m just driving myself a little mad lately.

When school is over, I could finally breathe a little easier.  

I hate it when…

I’m talking about something I’m really like, or just something about my day and the person I talk to doesn’t really care or just blows it off and starts talking about what ever they want to. Then when they are talking and I do the same to them, they get pissed off at ME. 

Most of the time, I let it go and don’t do the same to them, but it keeps happening to me more and more and I’m slowing starting to lose it. 

It’s like what I have to say is not as important as what you want to talk about. 

Eventually, I’m just going to stop talking as much.  People are going to get less information about my life and my passions like they did before.

This hurts even more because I just got out of this box recently and I really, really don’t want to go back in.

But if people don’t care, neither do I.

No matter how long I talk for, it always seems like I end up talking to myself. 

My friend asked me what Doctor Who was about

glasses-are-cool:

Well, where do I start?

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I hate it when people talk to me like I’m stupid.

I seriously feel like crying right now. Ugh. Emotions.